Q: Hey Aarde,

My little sister is being bullied at school for not physically maturing as quickly as her cohorts. How can I support her?

— Concerned Bigger Sister

A: Hi Possibly Single,

Firstly, I'm really proud of you. Not everyone has siblings; while some do have them, they might not be as caring as you. Having a safe, supportive network at home is essential to your little sister's overall development, and she will flourish because of it, regardless of some jerks at school expecting something outrageously out of her control.

Knowing what to say to her is a delicate matter, so most importantly, she must know she is not alone. Unfortunately, it is safe to assume that you have a few stories of your own about body shaming, as it is a cancerous epidemic within our society. While it might be difficult to relive those moments, it will help your sister to hear that you and others successfully made it through the same kinds of grossly insensitive situations. Confirm she knows it is fitting that her energy is spent developing her brain, personality, dreams, and skills over her blouse size. She can still, for example, run an 800-meter sprint, hold a baseball bat correctly, or jump on a trampoline without fear of self-injury—those kinds of things are worth recognizing.

If it is a group of bullies, help her identify the one pursuing the cursed drama (there is usually a ringleader) and dive into why they feel it necessary to assault another human emotionally. It can also be helpful for her to consider the soil in which the bully is growing. My son and I used to religiously watch the ABC show What Would You Do?, and after each episode, we'd talk about why we thought people didn't stand up for each other and what we would do if we found ourselves in a similar position. From the mouths of babes: My seven-year-old son said, "Hurt people hurt people, Mom." Make sure your sister knows that.

Second, reach out to an adult. If not a parent, encourage her to talk to a teacher, a counselor, or any adult she trusts. Remind her that seeking help from an adult is a sign of strength. It shows moxie that she can facilitate self-prioritization. Ensure she can access crisis lines like crisistextline.org to talk with trained adults anytime. Google a list of self-worth affirmations that you and she can do in the mirror together (it can't hurt for you to do it too, as support and for your self-prioritization). Perhaps you could make yourself more available at her school or around her cohorts to diffuse situations if you're comfortable.

Lastly, here is a list of media—check to see if they are age-appropriate—that might provide some understanding, some tips and tricks, and most importantly some humor to apply to the whole awful display: Back to the Future, Diary of a Wimpy Kid, Odd Girl Out, Big Bully, Can't Bully Me, The Karate Kid (the old one—puhleeze), and Mean Girls or its predecessor, Heathers. If she's a reader, there are books like Dear Bully: 70 Authors Tell Their Stories, Blubber, Each Kindness, and Wonder.

And above all, keep being an awesome big sister. I feel better knowing that your sister is not alone with you around.

Do you have a burning question you need advice about? Reach out via email to jdaarde@gmail.com or on via Instagram handle ‘aarde_writes.’