I promise I have no intention of making this column always about our losses, but I cannot in good conscience fail to mention the passing of rock ‘n’ roll legend Jerry Miller (of Moby Grape), brother of the late artist Teddy Haggarty and stand-in/BFF for actor Alec Baldwin, Leonard Haggarty, and our own former Weekly Volcano writer/editor Matt Driscoll. What a huge blow to our community all at once. The last one was a real shock because Matt was a young man seemingly in his prime with a wife and kids and a talent for telling Tacoma’s stories. He was known for voicing opinions that were usually spot on. I talked to him literally three days before hearing the news. I asked him for help with a story. He was in the middle of doing his coverage of the upcoming election, but he came through for me anyway. He was that type of guy. I don’t know what happened. It seems like whatever it was, it took everyone by surprise. There is a GoFundMe for his family you can donate to.

We never know how much time we have left, guys. Hug your loved ones. Do that thing you’ve been daydreaming about. Don’t just make a bucket list, go do stuff. Your TV, your social media, your video games, they will all be there tomorrow. Use that pause button and go live your life.

Sometimes the news makes it seem like the world is a crazy and dangerous place. Bad things do happen. But mostly, the world is full of good people who are all going through their own stuff. There is an epidemic of loneliness, especially among young men. If you or someone you know identifies with this, let me just tell you that you deserve to have friends and you can find them. You know where I have made a lot of lifelong friends? Doing things that do not pay money. Things like going to open mics, volunteering for a festival, participating in an art show, going to free classes, and learning about new things that interest me. If you can take on an explorer persona and live your life like a big experiment, you will find yourself surrounded by people who have similar interests. While you can make friends on the internet, and I have done that too, it’s the in-person friends who feel the most real. Don’t be afraid to say “Are you hungry? Wanna go get some food after this?” or “You seem like a cool person. It was fun hanging out with you, we should do it again.”

Most people are masking insecurities and looking for a little appreciation and acceptance. If you can give that to another person, you probably found a friend. We are all so in our heads about life, it’s easy to forget to give the thing we most need too. Everybody is going through their own personal drama, no matter how confident they seem. Some of us are just used to dealing with problems that we don’t even have time to show our frustration or need for friends. Even those who seem to be total extroverts sometimes need someone to see them and give them a little validation. If we all get better at that, we might have less random violence and clubs built on mutual hatred.

I have a favor to ask of you guys. Maybe you heard about the car accident that knocked out power to the UWT campus downtown Tacoma? About 20 businesses are on that campus, including Indochine, Tinkertopia, Stocklist Gifts, Channing Baby & Co, Crisp Greens, Subway, Charme Nails Studio, Level Tea, Water from Wine, Zeeks Pizza, and Metro Coffee, just to name a few. Their power was out for almost two weeks. The restaurants lost all the food because of lack of refrigeration. They were all forced to close. Please go patronize those businesses now that they are open. It’s not easy to survive when you’ve lost 50% or more of your monthly income. I would hate to see us lose any more of our small independent businesses.